There was no such thing as a painful thought.
There were many ephemera that abounded without.
I dreamt of days when I would become an adult.
Never could I wait for want of focused eyes.
But here I am, on the precipice.
I cannot wait yet I dread a distant thought:
That if I turn around, will I never reach my goal?
But if I don’t, how can I make it on my own?
It is a cold thing to say you love me.
Because when I speak to you
You look at me with shame.
I cannot gaze languidly into your eyes;
They cannot hold mine anymore.
I wish that you would tell me you loved me.
But you do and there’s only nostalgic sentiment
Of shining days gone by.
You miss those days where I was hanging on you.
I miss them too.
But how will you ever bring me back
If you feel the need to push me away?
No longer can I appease your parental urges
No longer can they speak freely.
You’ll wish I were never born
Because all I do is give you pain.
But it’s not pain I dole out.
Why don’t you see this love inside me
That shrinks with your disapproving tone?
I’m so tired of living on my own.
There’s nothing so tormenting as loneliness,
Contemplating over immaterial trivialities.
Time and time again.
There is no ameliorating cessation
No hope for your desire to come rescue me
Your warmth to be rekindled.
Because what can be rescued isn’t worth salvaging:
This poor, naïve, mutilated body that you cherished once.
I repulse you, is that right?
I disconcert you?
What meaning is there in acknowledging a tortured soul?
What lies ahead for this poor depraved girl?
Nothing and so you remain silent
As I tear vehemently from the heart out.
What’s worth it to the soul set free?
Love and dignity; Integrity and resolve.
So if you ever look upon me again,
Know: you cannot spurn your daughter
For want of beauty.
…Because it’s right here.
Tiffany Liang November 6th, 2010 ce,,jnf 3 PM
<I copy-pasted this from a document, so if the font gets published funny, that's why. I wrote this because there's nothing so crushing as rejection by the people who are close to you. And you can mentally interchange daughter with son or child, if it pleases you to do so.>
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