The Opposite of Torpor

Well. I think I'm decently established. Birthday's coming up! Can't wait! Lip piercing and several ear piercings! Wish it weren't so cold and that I had all my poetry with me. I think I'll post them in increments when I have all of them together. It's going to be so much easier for me, too, to be able to just go through archives in one place instead of reading through my awful script in countless notebooks and random sheets of paper, and documents spread out all over the place, etc., etc.

My dream is to be a published poet, lead or backup singer in a band, and to have AFI, William Francis, Chris Cerulli, Black Veil Brides, and enormous amounts of other people read my poetry. Because it's all for you. Just again: always credit me! And if you do, tell me? Much love <3

Uncalled For

I’m so alive in this stagnant moment

I stare straight into the moon

Of which has been obscured by storm clouds

You gaze at me through reddened eyes.

I’ll always wish for peace and energy

Love and ardent misery

Take me away from here

Wake me up from this unreal chase

Because all I want is your lips on mine

Touching mine, warming me.

Electric current revive me

Because how long have I been dead for,

How long have I held my breath?

My rejected heart hath so long awaited

Your so-long fated arrival.

Soon may I breathe sweet air again

Soon may I see fire again.

Simple color in the trees and grass.

Simple pleasure in progression.

<Was listening to AFI interviews. I wrote down "uncalled for" because I'm the type of person to note any sort of idioms, phrases, vocabulary. And I just wrote this because I was listening to "Moment" by Aiden. I have much love for AFI and William Francis!>

Who am I to turn your head?

I only walk to please my own.

Who are you to scream at me?

I only chase white rabbits.

Only I can determine my fate.

Only I can destroy myself.

Please me with your presence mere

Because really how long can we be here?

Talk to me of things surreal

Speak of nothing that is real.

I lie in wait for gems to shine

But when they appear there is no sign:

Of love or hatred

Only wishes dulled and dead.

Of truth or evasion

Simply fear and dread.

I do not understand fear of death

Only pain and nonexistence.

Show me the wounds you bear

And I’ll disintegrate them into air.

I miss your passion, strong and thorough,

Your eyes full of fiery wit.

They always pierce me, leave me speechless,

Understand why you’ve been bit.

I do not hold this pain for me.

I never cling to those insincere

But please for my sake smile away

Because your apathy turns my hair gray.

<one of the many untitled. i write mainly on whim, because it literally means nothing if it's forced. although i will say deliberation in the form of topics and themes is great. i mean force as if you were in class and it was required and there was an aversion towards it>

18 Years Already?

There was no such thing as a painful thought.

There were many ephemera that abounded without.

I dreamt of days when I would become an adult.

Never could I wait for want of focused eyes.

But here I am, on the precipice.

I cannot wait yet I dread a distant thought:

That if I turn around, will I never reach my goal?

But if I don’t, how can I make it on my own?

It is a cold thing to say you love me.

Because when I speak to you

You look at me with shame.

I cannot gaze languidly into your eyes;

They cannot hold mine anymore.

I wish that you would tell me you loved me.

But you do and there’s only nostalgic sentiment

Of shining days gone by.

You miss those days where I was hanging on you.

I miss them too.

But how will you ever bring me back

If you feel the need to push me away?

No longer can I appease your parental urges

No longer can they speak freely.

You’ll wish I were never born

Because all I do is give you pain.

But it’s not pain I dole out.

Why don’t you see this love inside me

That shrinks with your disapproving tone?

I’m so tired of living on my own.

There’s nothing so tormenting as loneliness,

Contemplating over immaterial trivialities.

Time and time again.

There is no ameliorating cessation

No hope for your desire to come rescue me

Your warmth to be rekindled.

Because what can be rescued isn’t worth salvaging:

This poor, naïve, mutilated body that you cherished once.

I repulse you, is that right?

I disconcert you?

What meaning is there in acknowledging a tortured soul?

What lies ahead for this poor depraved girl?

Nothing and so you remain silent

As I tear vehemently from the heart out.

What’s worth it to the soul set free?

Love and dignity; Integrity and resolve.

So if you ever look upon me again,

Know: you cannot spurn your daughter

For want of beauty.

…Because it’s right here.

Tiffany Liang November 6^th, 2010 ce,,jnf 3 PM

<I copy-pasted this from a document, so if the font gets published funny, that's why. I wrote this because there's nothing so crushing as rejection by the people who are close to you. And you can mentally interchange daughter with son or child, if it pleases you to do so.>

Intro

I'm going to say that most of my poetry bear no titles, so often there won't be titles. But I may decide to comment on my poetry after them; inspiration, things of ephemeric interest, etc. So far, I haven't got my poetry on me; only a few that are in my notebook, and in my documents. Others are on flash drive, 75% handwritten all the way back at home in New York. Please don't leave negative comments. Only constructive criticism. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and my poetry is meant to be taken however it occurs to you. My commentary only expresses my own.

Commencement

So here is the first of all:
I don't expect too much
Nothing good comes of it
I don't want to ruin myself
And I never could understand.
But here is where I'll begin anew
And hopefully you will too.

<These arrow things will mean it's text and not poetry. I'm expecting my titles to either be poem titles or whatever I'm deciding to blog about.>