Music

  • David Bowie
  • Black Veil Brides
  • Motionless in White
  • Blaqk Audio
  • Aiden
  • William Control
  • Jeffree Star
  • AFI

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Another Triumvirate, From 9/28/10

Why am I afraid to leave?
It’s clear from here that there’s air.
I can see the trees rustling from the window
They dance and sway from across my room.
I see people pass by.
I see them walking, normal, bored.
It rains. It stops. The coldness pervades them.
I am trapped in this heated, sheltered space.
I don’t need this protection anymore.
I’ll never be free.
I am overheated, afraid of the cold.
But it’s not my enemy. It’s a long-forgotten friend.
He misses me. I long to see him.
I have to go, or we’ll never meet again.
Please stay.

Why is there wide-eyed fear?
You look at me.
You can’t see me.
I stare back and you shy away.
It’s no use.
Our mouths are to speak
Not to gape in horror.
If you cannot speak to me
For what reason do you smile?
I am a person, just like you.
I need the same things
Not only you need to be loved.
I am dismayed but not discouraged.
I walk away
These legs were made to move
So while I can run
You’ll never understand.

I may not be as sharp as a whip
I may not bite with this tongue.
But I can write you verses
I can meddle with your heartstrings
Your long forgotten melodies.
I’ll devastate your mind.
I’ll caress it, soft
Before I tear it apart lovingly
And savor the beauty of your agony.
But it’s not true, is it?
Are you just a bystander, then?
Do you wonder like the others?
Does your psyche lack the glue?
I am never ready.
But here we go.

3 Poems from 9/26/10

I am always standing, waiting.
But for what?
There is nothing that sings
There is nothing that cries sweet.
They stare at me.
But only at me.
I stare, but my face is blank.
I don’t know where I’m going.
And they can’t tell me.
So I keep quiet.
What nonsense I spout is naught
It is of uninterest.
I sigh and hang my heavy head.
I continue to stare.
Now, but at my feet.
They ache from standing.
I ache from yearning.
Why couldn’t it have ended long ago?
Why did I never start to finish?

Frivolous is the air.
It brings to me
Things I wish I could see.
I am blind but I can so observe.
The fragrance of peaches and blossoms
They waft toward me.
I know my friend has arrived.
I hear the slap of shoes on concrete.
Another friend has come.
I turn around but there is a fork.
What do I choose?
I cannot pick.
There is nothing I can say.
I close my eyes but only darkness.
There’s never an answer.
I can’t rely on my eyes.
They deceive me.
I love them both.
I do not wish to leave either.
I do not wish to mistake.
But they are so different.
They sing both sweet and rare.
So I remain.
Why does love destroy me so?
I never dared to lie.

I wonder about those illusions.
Those half-baked lies that run
Not in circles, about my mind.
They call to me.
They are so sweet
I let them play as they like.
I miss them at times when I’m awake.
When I’m tired, they soothe me.
Strange or apologetic.
They all love me.
As I love them.
But like love, they tear me.
They don’t mean to, but it’s true.
I’ll never be without the night terrors.
Those one-is-one-too-many lot.
There is no good without the bad.
But how much bad must we face?
I’d wait forever to forget.

8/30/10

I looked ahead furtively
I saw no dark hall
But a lit entryway that dimmed
As I stepped back.
I ran back into shadow
Eyes burning from torchlight.
I crouched and hid in a corner
Afraid to see myself,
My lonely, broken heart
Still beating intensely on my sleeve.
I stared at the cold floor
Warming itself from me
Unapologetic and free
From decision.
I try to stand but fail
As my knees creak from disuse.
I walk slowly, nursing my joints
As I shield my eyes from the illumination.
I temper myself to the immense
Excitement in the atmosphere.

<Screw making up titles. I'm not going to make up shit titles just for it's sake. It's nonsense.>

8/29/10

There was no escape so lovely
As looking into the eyes of one who felt
The Technicolor words as warm
As the sun who sighed softly.
Softly, slowly, he awoke
Into a field of luscious flowers
Who hummed as they swayed
To the sensual caress
Of changes in the rarefied air.
His eyes fluttered and shut
While he reveled in a lofty breath
Full of love and residual dreams.
So soon had he left
He had returned.

<Written for someone I love>

8/27/10

Enervate the light that corners
All the time that flows a-right.
Too much night discovers
Fireflies that crawl about
Afraid to shed their light.
All the while
I lie atop the steps
Pensive, but forgetful.
Wondering silently at perception
Shut-eyed and asleep.

Struck

There are ravens in the sky
They obscure the light from coming
But they cannot feel its warmth.
So they drop like stones
From my sheer will
Like rain they fall
Into mist they become,
Disintegrate, evaporate
Crawl back to where they've come.
They slither as snakes do
They hiss and burn;
A chronic disease.
I close my eyes and shudder.
I forget the lies
I dream the faultless memories.
I wonder what I’ve become.
I expect there to be none.
My eyes flutter, open wide.
They stare into nothing
Because this is my world
I create this torment
This everlasting pleasure,
This love-pervading world.
You may not feel my pain
But I can feel yours
And you carelessly live your life
According to their rules.
You suffer needlessly.
You close your eyes only to see black.
But I am waiting for the darkness.
It longs for me as I do it.
I crave the molten sunshine bid me closer.
It sings a song seraphic
Only resounding in mine ears.
I fling myself forward, downward, onward.
I close my eyes and
Here I come.

<Hm, I quite like coming up with names after the fact. Wrote this because re-watching The Matrix for the second time since I watched in it theaters gave me such chills that I was blissing out and going numb for the next few hours. Dedicated to Sabrina Schroeck for being my muse <3 >
Well, it seems the timestamp is three hours early. Bummer?

The Opposite of Torpor

Well. I think I'm decently established. Birthday's coming up! Can't wait! Lip piercing and several ear piercings! Wish it weren't so cold and that I had all my poetry with me. I think I'll post them in increments when I have all of them together. It's going to be so much easier for me, too, to be able to just go through archives in one place instead of reading through my awful script in countless notebooks and random sheets of paper, and documents spread out all over the place, etc., etc.

My dream is to be a published poet, lead or backup singer in a band, and to have AFI, William Francis, Chris Cerulli, Black Veil Brides, and enormous amounts of other people read my poetry. Because it's all for you. Just again: always credit me! And if you do, tell me? Much love <3

Uncalled For

I’m so alive in this stagnant moment
I stare straight into the moon
Of which has been obscured by storm clouds
You gaze at me through reddened eyes.
I’ll always wish for peace and energy
Love and ardent misery
Take me away from here
Wake me up from this unreal chase
Because all I want is your lips on mine
Touching mine, warming me.
Electric current revive me
Because how long have I been dead for,
How long have I held my breath?
My rejected heart hath so long awaited
Your so-long fated arrival.
Soon may I breathe sweet air again
Soon may I see fire again.
Simple color in the trees and grass.
Simple pleasure in progression.

<Was listening to AFI interviews. I wrote down "uncalled for" because I'm the type of person to note any sort of idioms, phrases, vocabulary. And I just wrote this because I was listening to "Moment" by Aiden. I have much love for AFI and William Francis!>
Who am I to turn your head?
I only walk to please my own.
Who are you to scream at me?
I only chase white rabbits.

Only I can determine my fate.
Only I can destroy myself.
Please me with your presence mere
Because really how long can we be here?

Talk to me of things surreal
Speak of nothing that is real.
I lie in wait for gems to shine
But when they appear there is no sign:

Of love or hatred
Only wishes dulled and dead.
Of truth or evasion
Simply fear and dread.

I do not understand fear of death
Only pain and nonexistence.
Show me the wounds you bear
And I’ll disintegrate them into air.

I miss your passion, strong and thorough,
Your eyes full of fiery wit.
They always pierce me, leave me speechless,
Understand why you’ve been bit.

I do not hold this pain for me.
I never cling to those insincere
But please for my sake smile away
Because your apathy turns my hair gray.

<one of the many untitled. i write mainly on whim, because it literally means nothing if it's forced. although i will say deliberation in the form of topics and themes is great. i mean force as if you were in class and it was required and there was an aversion towards it>

18 Years Already?

There was no such thing as a painful thought.
There were many ephemera that abounded without.
I dreamt of days when I would become an adult.
Never could I wait for want of focused eyes.
But here I am, on the precipice.
I cannot wait yet I dread a distant thought:
That if I turn around, will I never reach my goal?
But if I don’t, how can I make it on my own?

It is a cold thing to say you love me.
Because when I speak to you
You look at me with shame.
I cannot gaze languidly into your eyes;
They cannot hold mine anymore.
I wish that you would tell me you loved me.
But you do and there’s only nostalgic sentiment
Of shining days gone by.
You miss those days where I was hanging on you.
I miss them too.
But how will you ever bring me back
If you feel the need to push me away?
No longer can I appease your parental urges
No longer can they speak freely.
You’ll wish I were never born
Because all I do is give you pain.
But it’s not pain I dole out.
Why don’t you see this love inside me
That shrinks with your disapproving tone?

I’m so tired of living on my own.
There’s nothing so tormenting as loneliness,
Contemplating over immaterial trivialities.
Time and time again.
There is no ameliorating cessation
No hope for your desire to come rescue me
Your warmth to be rekindled.
Because what can be rescued isn’t worth salvaging:
This poor, naïve, mutilated body that you cherished once.
I repulse you, is that right?
I disconcert you?
What meaning is there in acknowledging a tortured soul?
What lies ahead for this poor depraved girl?
Nothing and so you remain silent
As I tear vehemently from the heart out.
What’s worth it to the soul set free?
Love and dignity; Integrity and resolve.
So if you ever look upon me again,
Know: you cannot spurn your daughter
For want of beauty.
…Because it’s right here.

Tiffany Liang November 6th, 2010 ce,,jnf 3 PM

<I copy-pasted this from a document, so if the font gets published funny, that's why. I wrote this because there's nothing so crushing as rejection by the people who are close to you. And you can mentally interchange daughter with son or child, if it pleases you to do so.>

Intro

I'm going to say that most of my poetry bear no titles, so often there won't be titles. But I may decide to comment on my poetry after them; inspiration, things of ephemeric interest, etc. So far, I haven't got my poetry on me; only a few that are in my notebook, and in my documents. Others are on flash drive, 75% handwritten all the way back at home in New York. Please don't leave negative comments. Only constructive criticism. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and my poetry is meant to be taken however it occurs to you. My commentary only expresses my own.

Commencement

So here is the first of all:
I don't expect too much
Nothing good comes of it
I don't want to ruin myself
And I never could understand.
But here is where I'll begin anew
And hopefully you will too.

<These arrow things will mean it's text and not poetry. I'm expecting my titles to either be poem titles or whatever I'm deciding to blog about.>